Why did I listen to Your calling, O God?
Why did I step out on faith, O Love?
Why did I lift my feet,
ignore my fear,
and run toward the unknown?
Now I am far from home.
My heart aches for my familiar land,
for people who greeted me with kisses.
I can’t see the way back—it doesn’t exist.
I can’t see the way forward,
but I long for the place I knew.
By the time I find the way,
my children will be grown and gone.
But today You are silent.
The voice that whispered wind into my sails has stilled.
Fear rises in me like a tsunami far from shore.
Tonight, I will sleep without comfort.