“The hardest part of training a dog is developing the skills necessary to train a dog.”
—Chad Mackin, dog trainer
I don’t have a dog, but my social media feed knows how badly I want one. A rapt audience, I scroll through endless videos, preparing for the day I become a dog mom.
Dog bath videos are my favorite, but the training videos—people patiently investing time, energy, and treats into shaping doggos’ wild instincts—are the most humbling. Raising a pup is hard work! And yet for those who keep at it, the hard work pays off—for them and the human beings around them.
I spent decades making pastoral visits to parishioners and, by extension, their dogs. Many were affectionate (both the humans and dogs). Some of them were extremely vocal (also both). A handful were a downright nuisance (just the dogs! promise!). When I’d subtly express discomfort about being relentlessly clawed, gnawed, or humped by their pets, some parishioners would chuckle and shrug, as if there were nothing they could do.
Was it the dog-training skills those dog owners lacked, I now wonder, or the patience to develop them? Were they too overwhelmed by life to put in the work, or just indifferent to the consequences?
Long before I was a minister, when I discovered Unitarian Universalism, I was drawn in by how earnestly UUs seek integrity. Choice by choice, we make an effort to live out what we say we want, and who we claim to be. Well aware of my inner critter who wants to play well with others—and yet is sometimes wild with undisciplined whims—it dawned on me that being a UU would require a lot of work. I was right…though yet thirty years later, I've come to embrace my ongoing learning and growing as a UU less as “work” than an intentional spiritual practice.
Using my privilege to confront harm; summoning the courage to engage in direct communication; making space for opinions that I don’t share; navigating repair after someone gets hurt… all of it can be hard, humbling, and deeply rewarding. Even though approaching my faith as practice takes work sometimes, it pays off—because I’m not just doing it for myself, and neither are you: we put in the effort for one another and for all of the beings around us.
Prayer
Great Spirit who authored and embodies unconditional love, help us do hard things. May we equip one another, encourage one another, and love one another until we become the people our dogs know us to be.