“Many of us reject all of the inferior meanings and connotations that others project onto femininity—that it is weak, artificial, frivolous, demure, and passive—because for us, there has been no act more bold and daring than embracing our own femininity. In a world that is awash in antifeminine sentiment, we understand that embracing and empowering femininity can potentially be one of the most transformative and revolutionary acts imaginable.”
―Julia Serano, Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity
I've become known as "Chaplain Sparkle Shoes” at the hospital where I work. My wardrobe choice is intentional; it’s more precise than calling me "The Trans Chaplain” (there are a few of us) and disarms the Grim Reaper baggage conveyed by my job title.
Simply put, the shoes make me more approachable. They start multiple conversations each day; make kids and old ladies smile; and make grumpy old men flirt. More than one psych patient, upon glimpsing them, has started to dance. Besides these vocational reasons for wearing sparkly shoes, they go with all my outfits, are superbly comfortable, and scratch a girly itch in my brain that loves All Things Shiny. I rock them.
When I was getting dressed this week, I found myself wearing head-to-toe black: dress, leggings, socks, blazer. I even had black earrings. I sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling like I needed to put on armor: these next four years will be brutal. I need to be tough and ready for battle. So I slid on my combat boots and made for the door.
Just before I stepped outside, a voice in my head said, "No, Quinn―they don't get to take our sparkle."
An important lesson for cis people is that if you want to know what’s good about a gender, ask a trans person. Want good masculinity? Talk to trans men. Want someone who really understands what’s valuable about femininity? Talk to trans women.
As a trans woman, I love the way women are soft. (To be clear, I love the ways women are strong, tough, and ready to fight too―my dating history makes this clear.) I love the ways we sparkle; the ways we twirl. This is how I enter the world, and I've paid a high price for it my entire life.
But last fall, the Republican party spent $215 million on ads targeting women like me: trans people. They want me to be something I never have been and never will be: a man.
They're coming for us. We're going to have to fight. We're going to have to be strong.
But they don't get to take my sparkle. Or my softness, or my twirling, or my joy. And they sure as hell don't get to take my gender.
Prayer
God of starry nights and shining mornings, Help us to experience creation through your senses, full of wonder at how each thing sparkles in its own way. Help us to celebrate how we are each created, and how we are each creating ourselves and our spirits in conversation with you. In love of self and love of other, we find the joyful abundance of creation. Amen.