“Love is stronger than fear, but only if we participate in love.”
—Amy Julia Becker
Spring Break. I’m with my family in Orlando and my child needs to go to urgent care. As an Asian-American in a gay marriage, with adopted kids who are Black, I had booked this Florida vacation in the good old days of our former President. Everything is different now.
I arm my white, cis male husband, Jeff, with our travel file—the folder with copies of our marriage certificate, the court orders declaring my husband and me the legal parents of our children, and more—and make an appointment for him at the closest urgent care. (This is often our family’s safety plan: the white guy in the family takes the lead.)
As Jeff and our child register at AdventCare, the receptionist inquires what Jeff’s relationship to our child is. He explains. When meeting with the doctor, Jeff offers, with carefully chosen language, that his “spouse” had a bronchial infection, and now our kiddo does too.
“How long was your wife sick? What was she prescribed?” Jeff takes a risk and responds, “He had bronchitis.” Only after receiving the needed prescriptions do we figure out that AdventCare is run by a denomination that is vociferously anti-gay. My heart sinks; I wonder if we got lucky.
The same week, on our family’s day at Epcot, I wear my “Mickey Pride” shirt—the only Disney shirt I own: Mickey, Minnie, and a colorful explosion of rainbows and hearts.
Within half an hour of arriving, a thirteen year-old boy goes out of his way to tell me how much he loves my shirt—beaming from ear-to-ear, knowingly—as his Mom coaxes him back to their family. Another family spends half an hour getting to know our kids, gifting them trading cards, and offering us more ear-to-ear grins of love and affirmation. Near the end of our Epcot day, a park employee comments that she “likes my shirt” (by now I realize that I’m a walking billboard of gayness) and asks how our day in the park has been going.
I think about the fear I was feeling in contrast to this day: so much love and support, from so many unexpected directions. And I’m grateful.
Prayer
Even as fear abounds and reverberates, may I notice the life-saving, persistent presence of Love. May I be that love for others.