“Becoming ourselves is a collective journey.”
—Alok Vaid-Menon
I was on a phone call with a friend who’s trans, listening to her dread and sorrow about the political developments here in the U.S. She paused for a moment, reflecting on my cis-passing privilege and my whiteness, and said—without recrimination, but with a sense of finality—“You’ll probably be okay.”
My immediate response surprised us both: “My kid is trans; it doesn’t f***ing matter whether I’m okay.” Then we were both silent in the whole-body understanding of being irrevocably in it together.
Maybe, like me, you are shielded (so far) from some of the consequences of this painful inflection point in our nation’s history. Some of us can fly under the radar of immediate harm because of various privileges: our whiteness, cis-ness, the gender markers on our documents, or the fact that we have documents at all. I believe those of us with access to privilege have to reckon with this understanding: we’re only as safe as our beloveds.
We’re only as safe as the people we’re willing to protect. You and I, friends with privilege, are only as safe as the people we’re in solidarity with—meaning a visceral, embodied “with-ness.” Whom would we fight for? Who is so precious in our lives that we will mobilize our own safety to serve them? All our fates are inextricably intertwined. When the s*** hits the fan, for whom will those of us with privilege move our bodies, to block some of the spray?
My life has been profoundly enriched by my trans, nonbinary, and gender-fabulous kin. When it comes to a choice between living abundant joy, radical self-love, and fierce interdependence, I would rather mobilize my privilege to serve liberation than aim for “probably okay” when there’s a new world busy being born all around and in us. To engage our privilege—those of us who have it to share—can be an act of liberation not just for our beloveds, but for ourselves as well.
Prayer / Blessing of With-ness for Our Times
Beloved Mystery that manifests as an untameable abundance, may we embrace and embody a with-ness that shatters divides and breaks down walls. May we who are privileged trade our meager safety for resplendent celebration, enfleshing a solidarity in which we risk becoming our most holy, wholly interconnected selves.