“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”
—James Baldwin
The day after the 2024 election, the impact on those in marginalized positions—myself included—hit hard. The winning campaign had been fueled by hate, promising years more of the same. I was afraid, frustrated, and seething about what that now meant.
Feeling vulnerable to extreme lengths, I felt angry and envious of anyone privileged enough to not be in the rock bottom spot that I and so many others are in. Those who thought this was right. “Those people.” With tears of despair flooding my spirit, I heard an angry voice within myself: Right now I hate those people.
My stomach turned. My own response disgusted me. May we not respond in kind as our oppressors would wish us to.
In truth, I did not hate anyone. I hated the many forms that oppression takes—like white supremacy, patriarchy, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, racism, sexism, classism, ageism, and ableism.
I took to my spiritual practice of writing: conversing with the divine to examine what was in my heart. I’m a minister, an activist, and an individual with a diverse set of marginalized identities. My beloveds are vulnerable, too. I have a right to feel scared and hurt, and angry. Yet, in moving through these emotions I refuse to let hate calcify my heart.
I’m still mad at the world, the universe, and at God—and thankfully God takes it. The divine can take and handle my raw emotions; can be present, allowing me to find center. With Spirit, I work with and through my hurt. As I cry and rage, God bears witness. Spirit of Love is with me. Love is my center. God is Love. And I feel as I do because I love.
In wrestling with my feelings, questions, and God, I recognize I am not alone. There are others who feel and appreciate this; and we are in the same stormy sea: my beloved community. Together we value each others’ inherent worth and dignity. We hold space for our cycles of grief. We care for each other. We plan on surviving and thriving. We grow love in spite of hate and fear.
Prayer
Spirit of infinite names, Center of love, God,
Be with us in these heavy times. Help safekeep our tenderness and reinforce hope as we move forward. In holding each other, in not giving up, may our tears be prayers that uplift and transform despair into action centered in love. May we make our way out of no way, together.
Blessed be, Amen, Ashe.