Shakti,
la Madre,
Mother of us all,
be with me
in this groundless
ground of being.
One foot firmly on the earth,
touching You;
the other hovering,
not quite here,
not quite there.
This in-between time
both open
and maddening in its
lack of surety.
How do I leave behind the pain,
the disappointment,
the anger,
at what has been?
The unconscious cruelty,
the negating,
the selfish harm
I have walked through,
knowing the possibility always exists
that it could happen again…
Something in me
called forth the experiences I have had,
experiences I have needed
in order to learn and grow,
in order to see myself more clearly,
to see You more clearly.
And, yet,
the pain
at not feeling cared for
or valued
runs so deep.
The pain
persists.
Help me, Mama,
to be vigilant that I never treat
others in this way,
that I can see clearly enough
to recognize when violence
may be happening,
at my behest
or in community,
striving always to transform such energy,
and then use that energy
in service
to building,
to creating
the greater love
and hope
we all need.
Perhaps this is why any of us suffer:
to mine the depths of experience
so that we can then,
at our best,
be an ally,
a friend,
a companion,
an agent of change,
working to transform
and heal
brokenness
whenever and wherever
it may appear.
Perhaps the ground of being
I seek
is in knowing
the solidity
of who I am,
what I care about,
and what I will stand for,
in service to,
in relationship with,
You.
— from Conversations with the Sacred: A Collection of Prayers, edited by Manish Mishra-Marzetti and Jennifer Kelleher, Skinner House Books, 2020.