“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
—e. e. cummings
I didn’t know that my child had been struggling to tell me their truth about their gender and sexual orientation—a truth I’d always thought I would understand how to respond to.
They tried to tell me, vaguely, while playing with a friend at a party. My child unexpectedly spoke of transgender identity. It was unclear to me, then, what my child was actually sharing with me about themself. In the same moment, the friend did something that elicited a laugh from both her and my child. Thinking they were making a joke of the LGBTQIA+ community, I responded as such—lightly scolding my child.
Time passed. Over a year later, with the added support of speaking with their therapist and their grandmother, my child again came to me. This time they’d gained a fuller language to express what I had not understood before: they let me know they identify as lesbian and as gender-fluid. I understood now. I was regretful and heartbroken that I hadn’t recognized their truth before, and for the hurt I unintentionally caused in that misunderstanding.
From that moment, something shifted in my child. Still discovering themselves, now they were secure in their mom’s acceptance. May they never have to worry of this again.
My child came out like confetti. It was beautiful. I was, and am, happy that my child knows who they are. I’m also scared: I’ve wondered how to protect this beautiful, vibrant, rainbow of pride that I love. How to prepare them for a world that could be cold and callous and outright hostile for them being themselves. Like celebratory confetti, my beloved is out.
Thus I vow: my role is to guard my beloved child as they spread and share their confetti, their light, their proud celebration of being themselves. It’s my place to give them the space, attention, love, and protection to be the celebration of pride that they are. I must always let them know and feel how much I love them, and how proud and amazed by them I am. May they ever experience the acceptance, beauty, and joy of PRIDE that I celebrate for and with them.
Prayer and Blessing of Pride
Dearest Spirit that accompanies us all—we of every gender, of every sex, of every orientation, of every shade; Divine force retained in us each and sourced in love,
We ask you to be protection for the vulnerable. Hold us with concern and comfort as we tread a harsh terrain of hardened hearts. May love guide and surround us as we each discover and embrace who we authentically are.
May calloused and closed minds be softened; be opened to heal and grow humanity,
of which we are all curators; of which we are all a part; to which we all belong.
May every life journey be met with the love and light of Spirit, and blessed with pride, peace, and acceptance.
May it be so. Amen. Ashe.
Editor’s note: The author is a UU religious professional who, with their child (who gave their blessing to share this story), decided to publish this anonymously for the sake of privacy and safety.